Robo Vampire, The Best Crappy Movie EVER!!!!

Many of us in this day and age have an appreciation for the art form that is the “B-movie”. Usually very low budget fare with questionable acting and the worst special effects you have ever seen, they instill a feeling of giddy-ness rarely found in those who are legally sane. Well today I do believe I have found the absolute epitome of the genre in a little film that goes by the name of “Robo Vampire“. This movie has everything you could ever ask for cheesy villains, gore, bad special effects, a Robo Cop wanne be, boobs and Kung Fu.


The film starts off with some dude with his hands tied behind his back being shoved around by some form of military personnel wielding the obligatory M-16, when some steam begins to pour out of a nearby coffin and some form of Chinese vampire zombie jumps out and all hell breaks loose. Needless to say the afore mentioned prisoner and camouflaged bully wind up dead. The only way to describe the movement of these vampire zombie things is if a rabbit was doing a Frankensteins monster impersonation. It is truly ridiculous.

Now there are 2 story lines running throughout this movie that they try to connect through the miracle of over dub and film editing, however you never at any point see people from the separate story’s interact with each other. The First Story is one of mysticism, “vampires” (one of which has a gorilla mask on) and a very Be Kind Rewind-esque Robo Cop ripoff, while the second story is basically about some guys (and a lady) going to save a woman who was kidnapped by a drug kingpin.

Spray painted hockey gear and a gun. My hero.

Highlights include but are not limited to : An on foot chase scene where the monkey faced vampire is hopping away from the silver spray painted hockey padding clad Robo guy, and sparklers poking out of the end of sleeves denoting that mystical powers are being used.

Robo Vampire is a MUST HAVE . Not only is it ridiculous to the extreme while taking itself deadly serious, but every word is dubbed horribly, adding to the hillarity. Seriously this movie gets so many thumbs down they canceled each other out and started racking up cool points.