Radar Men From the Moon, Realizing how good, bad can be

                 Going through my VHS collection like a drunkard feeling his way....through a VHS collection, I was looking for a little something to lull my heavy peepers into dreams of bacon kisses and pretty fat girls...When I stumbled across a tape i have not had the pleasure of having watched yet.

                  Commander Cody in Radar Men From the Moon; the box art looked promising enough. Fast(not to mention cool) looking rockets, spacemen that look like Scooby-Doo villains, and a alliterated protagonist with a flying suit. What more could you ask for... well, a lot actually. This is Commander Cody's premiere serial story, Serial stories are 15 to 20 minute TV shorts that usually come on once a day, they keep the audience coming back by leaving the protagonist in a life or death situation at the end of each short. Radar Men From the Moon introduces Commander Cody a scientist with a jet pack. Using his ability to fly and his snub nose he must foil the plans of an alien race from the moon, which are trying to take the earth because there own resources are depleting.
              When I began watching, I slowly sank into this depraved funk, growing to hate these characters more and more with each passing 15 minute episode. Ham-handed story development, over/under acting, cheesy dialogue, even cheesier special effects. This hate would seem unnatural  to anyone reading this here article or anyone that still has VHS in their daily media rotation. At the startling revelation that I was beginning to think like a person of good taste(God forbid) I proceeded to drink my beer faster.

                                  
     Upon my ingestion of the sweet nectar, I began to appreciate the finer exploits of any vintage Sci-Fi movie, lavishly polished ray guns, villains in ridiculous future clothing, heros in very unsafe space suits, pretty space ladies and brutishly choreographed half-boxing ,             half-wrastlin' fights that would make Papa Shatner proud. This series is dripping with moments that slip right past you with scientific inaccuracies, tongue in cheek comments and horri-bad special effects, my favorite of being when Ratik, the emperor of the moon divulges his evil plan to use the newly discovered atomic energy to enslave the human race, Commander Cody naturally responds..."thanks for summarizing the information". Writing like this and things like regular street thugs being hired by an alien race make this humble attempt at a Sci-Fi serial into one of the funniest things you can watch.
     Far from perfect, the trouble I had with this copy of the series is that they play the series in its entirety, which means the beginning and end credits are all present, along with a brief written summary. In addition each episode begins with the last couple minutes of the previous episode. Which might have been fixed on the DVD copy, but disc based movies are for the weak and girly men.
      It comes recommended to those looking for a retro movie that hasn't been over quoted on The Big Bang Theory,

Robo Vampire, The Best Crappy Movie EVER!!!!

Many of us in this day and age have an appreciation for the art form that is the “B-movie”. Usually very low budget fare with questionable acting and the worst special effects you have ever seen, they instill a feeling of giddy-ness rarely found in those who are legally sane. Well today I do believe I have found the absolute epitome of the genre in a little film that goes by the name of “Robo Vampire“. This movie has everything you could ever ask for cheesy villains, gore, bad special effects, a Robo Cop wanne be, boobs and Kung Fu.


The film starts off with some dude with his hands tied behind his back being shoved around by some form of military personnel wielding the obligatory M-16, when some steam begins to pour out of a nearby coffin and some form of Chinese vampire zombie jumps out and all hell breaks loose. Needless to say the afore mentioned prisoner and camouflaged bully wind up dead. The only way to describe the movement of these vampire zombie things is if a rabbit was doing a Frankensteins monster impersonation. It is truly ridiculous.

Now there are 2 story lines running throughout this movie that they try to connect through the miracle of over dub and film editing, however you never at any point see people from the separate story’s interact with each other. The First Story is one of mysticism, “vampires” (one of which has a gorilla mask on) and a very Be Kind Rewind-esque Robo Cop ripoff, while the second story is basically about some guys (and a lady) going to save a woman who was kidnapped by a drug kingpin.

Spray painted hockey gear and a gun. My hero.

Highlights include but are not limited to : An on foot chase scene where the monkey faced vampire is hopping away from the silver spray painted hockey padding clad Robo guy, and sparklers poking out of the end of sleeves denoting that mystical powers are being used.

Robo Vampire is a MUST HAVE . Not only is it ridiculous to the extreme while taking itself deadly serious, but every word is dubbed horribly, adding to the hillarity. Seriously this movie gets so many thumbs down they canceled each other out and started racking up cool points.