Slumber Party Massacre "Trilogy", using the term all willy nilly

       One common trait among the overly excitable, anti-pop culture centric basement trolls(commonly known as nerds) is the uncanny ability to marathon any given movie franchise, television or video game series with only the help of over yellowed soft drinks and bare minimum hygiene.  This is ability becomes a curse(believe it or not) to those nerds who particularly enjoy the visceral and righteous art form that is the Slasher movie genre. Most of the time a horror will lose its UNF when the fat Hollywood pigs realize the money making potential of a decent horror title and churn out subsequent related films like so many Big Macs. This is where we get the origin stories, 3D titles, remakes, revamps and titles hitting double digits. IF done correctly some of these ain't half bad (Jason, Freddy and good ol' leather Face) but most of the time we end up with Saw 19 and Final Destination Christmas Carol. As a rule of thumb, when it comes to horror sequels the lower the budget the better the flick, so naturally... a campy trilogy of barely legal wide eyed brunettes getting drilled(heheheehe) seemed like a good way to spend a lazy Sunday.
     I find it a bit...misrepresented to call Slumber Party Massacre a Trilogy. Yes, there are 3 of them and they do share the same name...but I found that movies have little to do each other. That is not to say that these films are bad...or rather not entertaining. Each installment in the series adds a unique flavor to the trite gathering of scanty clad, 17 ish girls getting picked off one by one scenario.

 The Slumber Party Massacre

   What would a gathering of stupid teenagers be without a themed based killer on the loose? It would be Glee...but I digress. In this, our cherry popping installment in the Slumber Party series the killer targets the women of an average High School with his power tool arsenal, favoring his trusty power drill. When the girls varsity basketball team decide to have a slumber party, the Home Depot aficionado is not far behind with a really long extension cable en tow. This films satisfies that gore-craving just a smidgen, being on par with tame slashers like Halloween and Friday the 13th. The dialogue is memorable and has the "so bad its good" thing that the kids keep going on about. It tosses aside the "who dunnit?" by showing you the killer while the credits are still rolling. This guy has no motive to kill, he merely enjoys it which is a much more disturbing thing than a killer with a purpose. Not vastly original but its nice to see a movie not relying on this trope. The acting or rather the eye candy, sorry that's what it is...are good at conveying the hopeless feeling of being trapped in a wide open house. The deaths are alright but nothing to write home about. Over all a pretty entertaining hour and change of 80's slasher goodness.

Slumber Party Massacre II

In the second installment we follow the sister of the sole survivor of the first movie. She is dealing with recurring nightmares of a killer she never saw in the first place. It is a stretch but this might be the only thing that connect the two films, lest I forget the high-light reel of the first movie playing during the opening credits. The aforementioned younger sibling is off to a far away condo where her and her girlfriends(who are in a band) are gonna have a slumber party in order to practice for an upcoming school dance. Our protagonist suffers from visions and nightmares that seem to come true, hold on a sec the infringement train doesn't stop there. The slasher is a seemingly supernaturally powered smart mouth with a knack for killing women in very creative and outlandish ways. Sound familiar? The writer thought so too, adding side characters named Kruger and Craven, seemingly an attempt to kinda debunk copying, make it seem like a homage to Freddy Kruger.The killing is done by a smart mouthed every man that cracks wise and uses each teens "subtly" mentioned fears to kill them, making each kill that much more unique, although ultimately they get stabbed by a drill, it just so happens that its at the end of an elaborate electric guitar. The second installment takes a much cruder stab at story telling, focusing more on the scantily clad ladies and raunchy humor, a stark contrast to the brutal realism of the series. Aside from copying Nightmare on Elm Street, this movie is alright, its worth mentioning that this is my least favorite of the three. 

Slumber Party Massacre III

If the first installment was like Halloween and part 2 like Nightmare on Elm Street, then the third is more like Sleep Away Camp. Taking it back to basics, it could be considered a remake of sorts, having nothing to do with the first two. We follow a group of teenage girls after a hard day of beach volleyball, they decide to have a sleep over shindig. Naturally, their sexually frustrated male counter parts show up uninvited to try to catch a glimpse pf the naughty ongoings that will no doubt unfold in the lonely suburban home.  Murder and boob exposure ensue. III takes the formula from the first installment and reinvigorates it with the added "who dunnit?" aspects that are a genre staple. This time around the killer is given motivation, at the risk of spoiling what is an uncommonly good story, I will delve no further. The death seem to fall 'tween the first and second installment, as far as gore goes. Each kill is very brutal, but not  over saturated with red corn syrup. A tasteful visceral romp into the death of unsuspecting teens. This is by far my favorite of the three, like a tune up to the first movie, actually doing it right this time around with proper story, characters and suspense. a definite must watch for lovers of the genre.

        All together the three movies seldom make a reference to one another, that is the charm to this misguided trilogy, each installment has its own feel and flavor. This makes it ideal for marathon, themes never get old, deaths are creative and unique all the way through and the incredi-bad writing will give you some deep belly laughs.

The legendary Dance Craze lives on via youtube

                                                    

About 5 years ago I was given a LP (vinyl, record….you know one of those giant black CD’s that you play with a needle) called “Dance Craze The Best Of British Ska…LIVE”. Being a huge fan of the genre it was one of the most awesome gifts I had ever received. About a year or so later I learned that it was a soundtrack to a 1981 film of the same name. And the search began. I searched every video store, pawn shop, record store (good luck finding a video or record shop nowadays) and thrift store I came across to no avail. I did a little research and found out it has been out of print since about when the first VHS run of it was made back in 1988. Frustrated and let down… I gave up the search and forgot all about it. Skip ahead a few years and while searching through various ska music videos on that most famous of video sharing tube sites what did i come across? Dance Craze!!!! In It’s Entirety!!!!!!!!!! Elated, I grabbed a bottle of some of my finest party liquor and let the joyous occasion unfold.

For those of you unfamiliar with ska and the term 2-tone, I’ll give you a short history lesson. In the late 50's and early 60's Jamaican musicians, influenced by American jazz, pop music and R&B, incorporated the elements of these styles with their own native flavors, including Nyahbinghi drums and other folk music of the island. What came out was to be named Ska. Upbeat and original to the island it became a craze that took over the island seemingly over night. Musicians then slowed the tempo and sang songs of love, the local ruffians aptly named “rude boys”, and of social inequality in the mid 60s, and it became one of the most revered ages in Jamaican music called Rocksteady. After roughly 2 years of Rocksteady ruling the pop charts in Jamaica Reggae became the new hot sound, and in large part remains so on the Island to this day. But I’ve gotten a little past where I was going. In the 1970s in England many youths, inspired by Jamaican ska, rock steady and early reggae as well as punk rock formed bands that played a newer, and for the most part happier, version of ska music. Known as the second wave of ska, ska revival or simply 2 tone bands such as The Specials, The Selecter, Madness, The English Beat (known simply as “The Beat” in England) and more created their own sound by incorporating the early Jamaican classic ska sound with faster tempos and more energetic stage persona’s.

Dance Craze is 86 minutes of the top names in 2 tone playing in their prime. Filmed at various concerts in England in 1980 the movie showcases not only these amazing bands but the scale to which the second wave of ska took England by storm showing packed theaters and clubs with the crowds going crazy throughout. Featuring 27 of the biggest hits Britain has ever seen Dance Craze is 2 tone’s answer to the movie Woodstock, and is a must see for all fans (even passive ones) of the genre. Standouts include but are not limited to : Buster Bloodvessel in his younger days dancing up and down the stage shouting his large and in charge hit “Lip Up Fatty”, Madness in all their weirdness and glory singing the likes of ”night Boat To Cairo” and “one Step Beyond” and the pure energy of The Specials Playing “Night Klub” at the beginning and ends of thie movie. And I am extremely mad it has been out of print for so many years, if Hollywood can bring back the likes of Beverly Hills 90210 and Dallas, surely they can bring back classic concert video for the in home entertainment of the ever growing masses of ska fans. We are here and we demand an official release of Dance Craze, and some other stuff to be named later.                                                    

 

Cobra... Crime is a disease, He is the cure

In a Reagan era Los Angeles, the streets are running rampant with vermin. Crime is at an all time high, Police can’t do what is necessary for fear of backlash from the already wary public. Violent crime is a disease  and one man is the cure. One man is willing to do what is needed, but not wanted. He is no hero, just a  lone protector, a silent guardian, the dark kni– nah man its just Sylvester Stallone. Marion Cobretti, has unknowingly stumbled on the heels of a neo fascist group New Order whose core belief is that the weak should be killed leaving only the strong to rule the world. One faithful night, Ingrid(Nielsen) a very humble supermodel is witness to a violent crime at the hands of New Order’s leader. Trying to get this scumbag behind bars, they assign ‘Cobra’  to protect the helpless model, fleeing to the countryside somehow the New Order knows of their whereabouts and corners Cobra and his newly found woman in a factory where the obligatory final showdown must be held.

For regular people who often can’t enjoy the merits of a bad movie, definitely skip out on this one. This is exemplary B-movie affair, chalk full of one liners, unprovoked spasms of toughness displayed by the protagonist, and overzealous use of foul language and violence. The storyline is very predictable and at times very aware of itself. Using the tried and true Cop with an attitude that only plays by his own rules formula, the screenplay is ground breaking by no means. In spite of the nature of B-Movies I was expecting a little more consistency from the characters that Stallone created as a screenwriter

. What I mean by this is that, characters changed their personality at a moments notice for the sake of action or comedy. This left very stoic characters like Cobretti with some awkward screen time when they made jokes that didn’t seem to fit his persona at all. This would be understandable if he let the characters grow and became better or changed because of events of the film but as soon as he delivered the joke, Cobra was back to being a very serious police officer looking for justice and order.

The setting and tone were very film noir, making LA look like a bleak urban wasteland where crime runs rampant and Los Angeles is half skid row , half Beverly Hills. It certainly reflected the zeitgeist of the day, with the just captured Richard “Night Stalker” Ramirez fresh behind bars, the definite inspiration for the main antagonist of the film and social unrest in LA stemming from the heavy-handed LAPD and drug crimes in working class neighborhoods, Cobra was more social commentary than it is given credit for. In spite of its action movie guise Cobra had a lot to say about the current state of things.

The action was there, not to over the top but just enough to have you saying “hey, that wouldn’t reasonably happen in a similar situation in real life” but enough for you to know that it was an 80′s flick. The pace changed drastically after the opening scene, going from high stakes action and suspense to 30 or 40 minutes of story and character build up was a bad choice on the directors part. I became bored after the action of the opening credits, I couldn’t get back into it after people started dying in creative ways.Cobra comes recommended to those looking for an action movie with a little thought to it, but still doesn’t take itself too seriously.